Psychologist Explains Why Why Success Doesn’t Always Feel Like Fulfillment for First-Gen Latinas
This is what I call the dissatisfied mindset
Psychologist Explains Why Why Success Doesn’t Always Feel Like Fulfillment for First-Gen Latinas Credit: Pexels
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why don’t I feel happy or fulfilled?” keep reading. Even after achieving so much, we still ask ourselves why it doesn’t feel like enough or why we don’t feel like we are. As a therapist who works with first-gen professionals, I hear this often. Clients reach a milestone they’ve worked toward for years, only to shift focus right away to the next goal. The joy is brief, replaced by pressure to do more. Sound familiar?
This is what I call the dissatisfied mindset. It’s the feeling that no matter what you accomplish, it’s never enough. I see it all the time, and I’ve lived it too. When I became a licensed psychologist, I thought I’d feel fulfilled. But I wasn’t happy in my work setting, so I stepped into entrepreneurship. I assumed my years of education and hard work would create momentum. But growth was slow. I felt discouraged. Even when progress came, I kept raising the bar without pausing to celebrate. Eventually, I realized I needed to understand what was fueling that pressure and find a new way to relate to my ambition.
Both internal and external forces shape the dissatisfied mindset. For first-gen Latinas, that pressure can be intense. When you’re the first in your family to graduate, build a business, or step into leadership, you carry not just your own hopes but the dreams and sacrifices of those who came before you. That can be incredibly motivating. But it also comes with real risks.
You might start to experience burnout, not just from physical exhaustion but from emotional wear and tear. You might lose the joy that once fueled you. You may feel anxious, like every pause or mistake means failure. You start to tie your worth to your productivity. And eventually, self-doubt creeps in. Even when you’re doing well, you might feel like you don’t belong. That’s why it’s so important to interrupt the pattern. Otherwise, the things we’ve worked so hard for, like peace, purpose, and joy, can begin to slip away.
Healing doesn’t mean giving up your ambition. It means redefining success in a way that sustains you. It means learning to let your goals uplift you, not overwhelm you. So what helps?
Check your why. Ask yourself: Who is this for? What’s driving me? When your goals are grounded in clarity, you can pursue them with more intention and less pressure.
Adjust your timeline. Many of us try to do in months (or weeks) what truly takes years. Be gentle with your expectations. Talk them through with someone you trust.
Celebrate your wins. I keep a “win jar” to remind myself of moments I’m proud of. You can do this with friends too. Share with them or even host a small celebration where everyone shares a recent win.
Reconnect with joy. I’ve had to let go of rigid timelines and give myself permission to play, try, and ask what actually feels good. That’s how I realized I love speaking, so now I make space for more of it.
The dissatisfied mindset isn’t all bad. We just need to make sure we pause and reflect, so success doesn’t turn into stress. We deserve to feel grounded, proud, and at peace in the process. The truth is, you are already enough. You’re simply making the most of the opportunities available to you in this season of your life.
You’ve done so much already. Take a breath. Celebrate yourself. Sí se puede.
